• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Home
  • blog

.allan

  • about
  • contact

Attention

February 17, 2020 by allan

she will literally die if she doesn’t get applauded. i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say leo https://t.co/hBeJwywr0V

— 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝕲𝖊𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊 𝐕𝐈 (@ariesmoan) February 7, 2020

#JustLeoThings

“What should I blog about? I’ll let you choose the topic…”

A simple question I asked my best friend Rebekah and she quickly responded with a lovely image.

“My best friend knows I need attention so I did something crazy..”

Rebekah thinks I should talk about my need for attention. Which I think she’s being a bit excessive because there’s no way I’m that needy.


I like to think I’m an okay person in the attention department. Sometimes I just hate silence. Unfortunately being in tech the majority of individuals are introverted so that just means I have to talk more.

Maybe I’ve been coming off the wrong way every time I reach out to Rebekah? I think I just need avoid doing super flamboyant things so it stops coming off as a cry for attention.


One can easily just say, “that’s just Allan’s personality, that’s how he is.” Although there is one time that I took a personality test and it said that I got offended easy, which I was extremely offended by. How dare this personality test assume it knows me.

Knowing someone can really help explain a lot of their behaviors. I try my hardest not to judge a book by its cover and I hope people take the time & effort to get to know me. Maybe they’ll like me and be a cool person to hang out with outside of work? Who knows!

This is the part of the blog post where I go off on an unrelated rant. Sort of unrelated but my last sentence in the last column made me think of this.

There’s one quote that has stuck by me a lot as a kid and it’s this wonderful saying by good ol’ Meowth.


“We do have a lot in common.
The same air, the same Earth, the same sky.
Maybe if we started looking at
what’s the same instead of
always looking at what’s different,

…well, who knows?”

– Meowth (Pokémon: the first movie)

At the end of the day we all want the same thing. Whether it’s through physical contact or just having someone there to be supportive of you, we all just want to love and be loved.

The End.

Filed Under: dad

2020 Tarot Reading

January 3, 2020 by allan

The previous year in summary

Five of Pentacles

Sadness, worry, illness

The five of pentacles is a card of hard times. It may come in the form of an illness, job loss, financial trouble, or rejection. Above all this there will be worry…so much worry. This anxiety is counterproductive & damaging. You must find a way to quiet the mind during this difficult time. Rely on meditation or visualization to find peace.


Lessons learned from the past year

Death

Closure, transformation

No one loves the sight of the death card in a reading. We spend most of our lives denying death altogether…so when this card appears it’s easy to get frightened or think it’s “bad”. Don’t let the drama distract you from the message: something in your life needs to end. It needs closure. This will happen voluntarily or involuntarily. Either way, you will feel a positive transformation begin after the initial forms of suffering past.


Aspirations for the next 12 months

Seven of Pentacles

Period of Contemplation

A curious card, the seven of pentacles shows a period of contemplation & uncertainty. You’re looking back at all of your hard work & wondering…has it been a failure or success? You can’t seem to decide. Shouldn’t you be be reaping more rewards by now? Maybe so. But the mind has control over perception. It’s possible your rewards are waiting for you to recognize them. They are not always monetary.


What empowers you in reaching your aspirations

Father of Pentacles

Steady, entrepreneurial

The father of pentacles is a steady, gentle man. Upon first meeting he can almost seem dull because of his extremely calm temperament. But underneath is an incredibly passionate man who prioritizes the stability of his job, family, a home. He is entrepreneurial & diligent at work. A true pleasure to know.


What may stand in the way of reaching your aspirations

The Star

Hope, peace of mind

Standing outside in a dark night you gaze up at the stars & sense glimmers of wonder & hope. Even though you can’t find concrete answers to life’s many questions up there in the sky, you can’t help but feel comforted & renewed. Such is the energy of the star card. It is not about actions or situations, it’s simply about connecting to the part of you that is hopeful & serene. This force will bring light back into your life & infuse you with positivity. A lovely card.


Your relationships and emotions in the coming year

Son of Pentacles

Loyal, quiet, dedicated

The good side of the son of pentacles is that he’s loyal & determined. He’s inventive & can be trusted whole heartedly. But sometimes this figure becomes stubborn & persistent to a fault. This combined with his quiet nature results in him being hard to get to know & socially awkward at times. He commonly has only one or two close friends as opposed to many.


Your career, work and finances

The Devil

Addiction, negativity

Though it may feel frightening when the devil appears in your reading. The card carries an urgent message & must be interpreted with total honesty. The darkness of the devil card takes the form of addiction, negativity, or materialism. It can indicate an ugly relationship with a person or substance. Identify this dependency & how it’s holding you back. The devil’s hooves are strong & relentless–their grip will not loosen unless a conscious change is made. Free yourself.


Your health and well-being

Ten of Pentacles

Fulfillment, abundance

The ten of pentacles signifies material & spiritual abundance in nearly every area of your life. The number ten usually indicates completion, & in this case the journey was well worth it. So be generous, not only with your money but also with your wisdom. Provide guidance to those who struggle. You will be rewarded tenfold.


Your spiritual energy and inner fulfillment

Three of Cups

Friendship, joy, bounty

The three of cups is a love card. It foresees you in the company of amazing friends, creating memories together that you’ll forever hold dear. These are not any ol’ friends. They are people with whom you feel a rare connection with them you feel truly “yourself”. Enjoy each minute of their company. This card can also indicate an upcoming celebration. Love abounds!


What you most need to focus on in the year ahead

The World

Wholeness, completion

The world is the final card in the journey of the major arcana. It signifies completion, harmony, & contentment. It’s rare to experience this energy, as we are usually consumed by wanting, needing, & achieving. So when this card appears contemplate for a moment the idea of “being whole”. Focus on the image of the card…close your eyes & envision this radiating energy inside you. What does it feel like? Where is it located? What blocks you from feeling a sense of “wholeness” each & every day of your life?


Your most important lesson for the coming year

The Magician

Self-empowerment, action

The magician is a card of boundless, expansive energy. Whereas many of the major arcana deal with stillness or aspects of the mind…this card is all about action, action, action. It’s time to see yourself as the wildcat–embrace his speed, grace, & abilities. Do not be afraid to begin. You have the power of all four elements within your reach, now is the time to use them.


Overall, where are you headed in the next 12 months.

Wheel of Fortune

Destiny, change of course

Whether day or night the weel of fortune is always in motion. Some call it fate, others destiny. It’s possible to go months or years without feeling its presence…but when this card appears the eye of the wheel is fixed upon you. Don’t be surprised if there’s a change of course heading your way, something you’d least expect. Whatever happens to you during this time know that it is bringing you closer to your life’s purpose.

Filed Under: dad

2019 Wrapped

December 5, 2019 by allan

It’s that time of the year again! That fun time where Spotify releases the music you listened to the most over the last year. That time where everyone says, “I don’t know how this song got on here, I don’t remember listening to it” which we all know is bullshit. Own up and vibe to it.

Spotify: hey dumbass. hey asshole.

Me: pls don’t

Spotify: here’s your 2019 Rewind playlist you bitch

Me: stop

Spotify: and we pulled every fucken song from that one 6 week period after a breakup

Me: *already listening to the playlist, crying* it’s perfect. i hate you.

— dirk diggler (@TakeForGrantd) November 30, 2019

2019 has been fun and I’m glad Spotify does this every year. The only thing I’m a little surprised by is that Billie Eilish isn’t higher on my Top 100, but I’ll get over it.

Without any further ado, here’s my stuff!


Artist of the Year

Diplo

No surprise here! The amount of artists Diplo collaborates with is possibly the reason why he is always queued. Ranging from the Jonas Brothers to Morgan Wallen, he stays busy. To top it all off, he always is up to form new groups. Major Lazer, LSD, Silk City, and Jack Ü are just some of them. I look forward to the new music / genres that Diplo will be a part of in 2020.


Top ArtistTop Songs
DiploHurt
Kodak BlackAlien Boy
BrasstracksLava Lamps
BROCKHAMPTONJesus Is The One (I Got Depression)
J BalvinRoll in Peace (feat. XXXTENTACION)

Minutes Streamed

201950,245 Minutes
201851,718 Minutes
201743,864 Minutes
201643,954 Minutes
201538,543 Minutes

Artist of the Decade

Major Lazer

I can listen to all of these songs and remixes for the rest of my life. I love Major Lazer so much—The group consists of Walshy Fire, 4B, Diplo. Jillionaire departed the group earlier this year and I’m still a bit sad. I’ve had the honor of seeing them perform by themselves & together as a group.

Peace is the Mission is possibly the greatest album ever made.


About my Playlist

2019 was possibly the toughest year I’ve had. Music helped me get through this challenging year.

I’ve met a lot of amazing people over the past few months that helped shape my taste in music. I tend to usually listen to what I’m comfortable with and if you know me, that’s typically EDM.

Oliver Tree, BROCKHAMPTON, Brasstracks, Polo & Pan, and grandson were all introduced to me by amazing human beings and I’m forever grateful they did.

Top 10 Song Summary below the playlist


Top 10 Song Summary

  1. Hurt – Oliver Tree.

    “I feel left out, I don’t see how
    My whole life can change in one week”


    This song has amazing lyrics from start to finish but that one sticks out to me every listen. I was living life recklessly before my accident in June, after my accident I haven’t been the same. It’s insane how so much can change from one accident.
    
  2. Alien Boy – Oliver Tree.

    When I still had my Crosstrek, I would put the sunroof back, windows down, and straight blast this song in the car.
    
  3. Lava Lamps (feat. Beekwilder) – Maty Noyes

    From the bassline to Maty Noyes’ lyrics, this song is straight fire. My friend Hila showed me this gem one day on the way to Blues on the Green. It’s possibly the best pregaming song.
    
  4. Jesus Is The One (I Got Depression) – Zack Fox, Kenny Beats

    I can’t even with this song. It’s just a masterpiece. Zack Fox is a character and it still hurts that he’s banned on Twitter.
    
  5. Roll in Peace (feat. XXXTENTATION) – Kodak Black

    Still surprised this song is on the top 10 but it’s on here for a reason. Uhm, this song is on one of my buddies playlist and its the first song so my best guess is that’s why it’s on my top 10.
    
  6. still feel – half•alive

    Rebekah & Cliff introduced me to this song when we were watching music videos at their house. I fell in love with the music video and of course the song.
    
  7. Baui Coupé – Diplo, Bausa

    Baui Coupé, it’s literally what you think it is. Bausa is a German Rapper and this song is about his coupé. It’s very catchy and I love it.
    
  8. Anywhere – Dillon Francis, Will Heard

    This song is here because I listened to it a lot in preparation of seeing Dillon Francis & Alison Wonderland earlier in the year. It’s also one of my favorite songs to sing with the windows down.
    
  9. NO HALO – BROCKHAMPTON

    Shoutout to Orlaith for making me listen to this album. This song makes me cry on late night drives and it’s just so beautiful.

    “Do I matter? I’m ecstatic, I’m depressed,”

    Possibly the most relatable lyric for me in 2019. There will always be a special place for this song in my heart.
    
  10. Blood // Water – grandson

    I got in a grandson phase after learning about them one night. This song is just so well written and all of the instruments used are so perfect.

Filed Under: dad, Music

site rebuilt using genesis & atomic blocks

November 18, 2019 by allan

hello there!

as you may have noticed the site has gone through a redesign! I built the site using the revolution pro theme by genesis. it felt like it was going to take longer than it did, but honestly it was pretty easy. feel free to reach out if you want to go through an entire site redesign and i can help out over a few drinks n what not.

Filed Under: dad

throwing yourself out there

November 5, 2019 by allan

all the wonders you seek are within yourself

– Sir thomas browne

Depending on how long you’ve known me, you probably know me as the most outgoing / extroverted person you’ve ever met. If you have ever done the myers-briggs personality test, I always land on ENFJ.

Extroverted;
adjective
1. outgoing and socially confident.

Anytime my friends and I go out, I’m always expected to be the person who bridges the gap between strangers.

Dontcha wish you were like me? Sometimes I feel like it’s a curse and sometimes a blessing in disguise.

Remember when shoot your shot was my motto? I learned so much about rejection since then.

The way I look at it, everyone is afraid to talk to you. You just have to get over the initial fear and start the conversation. Looking at all of my friendships, there is one thing they all have in common—someone started the first engagement.

You never know who you’re going to meet by throwing yourself out there. The best times I’ve ever had have always been done on a whim. We’re only on earth for a short time so make the most of it!


Download or use my favorite website to find events in Austin! #NotAnAd

Filed Under: dad

27th Birthday – Golden Year

July 27, 2019 by allan

These last few weeks have been the toughest I’ve had in a pretty long time. I’ve been trying to be as private about everything currently going on, but it’s my birthday and feeling grateful to be here another year.

About a month ago I was rear ended by a distracted driver going at a high rate of speed while I was at a complete stop. I’m extremely happy the passenger in my vehicle wasn’t hurt as bad as I was. Since the car accident I haven’t been the same from a physical & mental health standpoint.

From a physical health standpoint, I’ve been in constant pain since the accident. Some days are better than others and this tens unit has been a saving grace. I look forward to the day where I’m able to run & dance with Athena without having to worry about the repercussions.

From a mental health standpoint, every day is an uphill battle. If I didn’t have the amazing support system I have now, I don’t know how I would be doing this.

I’m truly blessed to have such close friends, coworkers, and family. You guys are rockstars and I really do love y’all. If we haven’t talked in a while, I’m sorry, let’s try and get together soon. Life is way too short.

Athena was not in the vehicle with me at the time.
Besides that, please no further questions about the accident.

Thanks all.

Filed Under: dad

2018 Recap

November 5, 2018 by allan

Hello Everyone,

So I haven’t posted in a while and I apologize.

Athena turned two earlier this year and she will be three in a few weeks. She’s talking a lot, questioning everything, and finding out what food she likes/dislikes. Her favorite dish at restaurants is definitely chicken nuggets/strips. She also started Pre-K 3, she learns about cool things such as numbers, the alphabet, and of course our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Friendships – I’ve made new ones these last few months and I hope to continue growing those into meaningful lifelong friendships. My current friends are still the best and I adore them greatly.

Explore Austin – This was our Explorers last year officially doing the Saturday challenges and Summer Wilderness Trip. We still try and maintain contact as much as possible but of course, everyone is busy with life.

Work – I hit my 5 year mark recently. Amazing experience being 5 years with a company, I’m still learning so much and don’t think it will stop anytime soon.

Relationships – Ariel and I are no longer together. This was a mutual decision and we are being the best coparents we can be for Athena. It was a wonderful 5 years and we will be taking what we’ve learned through countless trial & error into our next relationships.

Future Plans –

  • Be the best dad I can be
  • Focus on myself
  • Post a little more
  • Be a better person
  • Make it a full year with a hive and make it to a successful harvest season

Filed Under: dad

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 7
  • Go to Next Page »